Back on Track

Saturday. I hope Saturday will be the day I get someone to give me the last piece of the puzzle that will allow me to put T7H into paperback. Which means next week I can take a day and finish off the last little tidbits and get the book printed for the fifty-or-so people who've been waiting for it. In the beginning, the goal was to write and publish a book before GRRM managed to put out volume five of A Song of Ice and Fire. With a little luck, I still might be able to get that done. If not, hey, I will have written and published a book in just a few months while working at the same time. Still not a bad accomplishment. Less distractions and more time would be killer, though.

With what little time I have left in my mini-vacation (AKA two days off in a row) I'm trying to finish off the remainder of a short story that I began a lifetime ago. Maybe it was a month or so. Seems like longer. At any rate, I'm writing something and I feel good about it. I think this will make for 5 stories completed with an additional 3 in the works/planning/back of my head. Suggestions on how many I should put in the collection? Mind you, the faster I finish up the short stories, the faster I can get down to sequels.

Wax On, Wax Off

I'd apologize, but I tried that the last time I posted and wasn't really all that apologetic when I did it. Lately, I've been working to the point of exhaustion while spending very minimal amounts of "me time" interspersed. I think I've allowed myself to wander a bit too far away from what I'm trying to do and I think if I go too much farther, it'll be too steep of an incline to crawl back up. So, I've decided to do something about it - start drinking again.

I've done absolutely no writing whatsoever in at least a month and I'm very much pissed at myself about it. Part of it comes from the fact that I'm disappointed that I still haven't managed to complete the paperback publish of T7H and part of it comes from being burnt out and allowing my mind to wander. Sure, I enjoy the company of women as much as the next guy, but I'm not getting anywhere in the long run. I need someone to come along, tell me, "Hey. I'm single, attractive, intelligent, and have a personality. We should get together."  And I'd be all like, "Okay." See, if miracles were real, my life would be much easier.

I need to refocus and reinstate my value system. My philosophy of minimalism is really falling by the wayside as of late. By removing obstacles and ignoring distractions, I can reduce the amount of stress in my life by breaking everything down to the essentials. The only problem with that, of course, is that it leaves no room for anyone else in my life. A close friend recently told me that she noticed a change in me and that I'm, for lack of a more appropriate word, "better" than I used to be. I'm more open and socially interactive, whereas before I was more stand-offish and withdrawn. That makes me feel good to hear that, sure, but it also opens me up for a whole shit ton of problems should I choose to follow that route. I'm sure that I've more than totally confused the women I've been dating with my on-again/off-again routine.

I don't even know what the hell I'm talking about at this point.

Basically, here's my dilemma - do I continue the path I'm on and actively try to pursue a fruitful social life like everyone else or do I return to self-deprivation in order to complete the work I feel that I have to (and almost need to) do? Seek fulfillment in the company of others or seek fulfillment completing my own goals and desires? With this job, I only have so much time allotted to me and me can't physically and mentally do both.

Help.